Sex and Diabetes: Overcoming Challenges and Enhancing Relationships
Sex can be an important part of life, but managing diabetes may introduce challenges that can affect sexual performance or desire. Having diabetes doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll face sexual difficulties, but if you do, there are ways to manage and improve your experiences.
We’ve gathered comprehensive information to help you understand how diabetes can impact your sex life and how to address any issues.
Sexual Problems and Diabetes
Most people experience sexual issues at some point in their lives, whether or not they have diabetes. Having diabetes doesn’t automatically mean you’ll face sexual problems, but both men and women with diabetes are at a higher risk compared to those without the condition. These issues may include difficulties like erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, or a general lack of sexual desire.
Sometimes, sexual difficulties can also indicate other underlying health issues, such as heart disease or nerve damage (neuropathy). If you’re concerned about persistent sexual problems, it’s essential to seek advice from a GP or a sexual health clinic. They can provide guidance and check for other potential health concerns.
For more details, visit our dedicated pages on diabetes and sexual problems in men and diabetes and sexual problems in women.
Lower Sex Drive or Libido
Many factors can influence your interest in sex, commonly known as libido. Diabetes can sometimes lower libido, but it’s not the only factor. Stress, anxiety, alcohol, poor sleep, or fatigue can all reduce your desire for sex. Other conditions such as depression, certain medications, menopause, erectile dysfunction, and vaginal dryness may also lower sex drive.
Diabetes can be exhausting and affect your mental well-being, which might reduce your interest in sex. There is no “normal” frequency for sex—what matters is what feels right for you and your partner. If you’re experiencing a decrease in sex drive, consider identifying the root causes and consulting a health professional for guidance.
Additionally, emotions play a significant role. Feelings of embarrassment about your insulin pump or anxiety over having a hypo during sex may reduce your desire. Being open with your partner and discussing these feelings can help ease concerns and foster a more comfortable sexual relationship.
Talking About Sex
Sex can sometimes come with a lot of pressure. Whether it’s the pressure to perform well, please your partner, or satisfy yourself, frustrations can arise if things don’t go as planned. If you’re experiencing complications from diabetes or a lower sex drive, these issues may feel overwhelming.
While sex can be fun and enjoyable, it’s also a vulnerable and emotional experience. How we feel about ourselves, both physically and emotionally, can impact our sex life. That’s why open communication is key. Talk to your partner about your feelings, making sure both of you feel safe and comfortable. Listening to your body and your partner’s needs ensures a healthy sexual relationship.
Consent is a vital part of any sexual experience. Consent means giving or receiving permission to engage in sexual activity, and it should always be enthusiastic—examples include a clear “yes” or “I love this.” Remember, consent is ongoing, meaning it can be given and withdrawn at any point. If you’re ever uncomfortable during sex, it’s okay to stop, slow down, or express your boundaries beforehand for a smoother experience.
It’s not easy coping with all these feelings and emotions. But there’s support out there and talking to someone about what’s going on can be the first step. Know that you’re not alone. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, counsellor or your healthcare team, it’s good to talk.
Improving Sexual Relationships Advice
Maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship can be important for many people. However, some individuals are content with not being sexually active but may still enjoy a close, intimate connection with their partner in other ways. In relationships where sex is important, a lack of interest in it can become an issue, particularly when one partner desires sex and the other does not. Open communication between partners can help to address these feelings, avoiding a sense of rejection. Although initiating such conversations may be challenging, it is vital for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Sexual problems can have a significant impact on both psychological well-being and relationship satisfaction. When couples fail to communicate, these issues can become more intense, leading to feelings of being unloved or disrespected. Honest dialogue helps to dispel misconceptions, provides reassurance, and allows partners to adjust their expectations. Every relationship is unique—some couples have sex frequently, while others may be intimate less often, and the types of sexual activities also vary.
Here are some general tips for those experiencing sexual difficulties:
- Maintain physical contact: Being physically intimate without expecting it to lead to sex can be rewarding and emotionally fulfilling.
- Sexual desire is responsive: Intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual to ignite desire. Activities like foreplay, cuddling, holding hands, or engaging in deep conversation can lead to arousal.
- Medication side effects: Some medications, such as antidepressants, can affect sexual pleasure and orgasm. It may help to consult a healthcare provider if you suspect medication is impacting your sex life.
- Use pH-friendly lubrication: Vagina pH-friendly lubricants can make penetrative sexual activity more comfortable and enjoyable.
- Affection and respect: Mutual affection and respect are key elements in fostering desire and maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.
In some cases, seeking professional help, such as speaking with a sex and relationship therapist, can be beneficial. For couples facing challenges, professional guidance can offer solutions and help restore satisfaction in the relationship.
Blood Sugar Highs and Lows
Diabetes can affect many aspects of your life, including your sex life. It’s important to remember that sex is a form of physical exercise, and like any exercise, it can cause your blood sugar levels to drop, potentially leading to hypoglycaemia (a hypo). If you’ve been drinking alcohol, this risk increases, depending on how much alcohol you’ve consumed and when.
Before engaging in sexual activity, it’s a good idea to check your blood sugar levels and have something sugary nearby to treat a hypo if necessary. If you’ve experienced hypos during sex in the past, you may feel anxious about it happening again. This “hypo anxiety” can impact your feelings about sex, but discussing your concerns with your partner can help. By planning together, you can be better prepared for managing a possible hypo during sex.
If you use diabetes management technology, such as an insulin pump, you may find it gets in the way or feel uncertain about whether to remove it. Explaining it to a new partner or worrying about it getting dislodged can be frustrating. Whether you decide to leave it on or take it off is a personal decision. Removing your pump may reduce the risk of a hypo, while leaving it on helps keep your blood sugar from getting too high but could increase the chances of a drop.
Talking to your healthcare team about these concerns can provide reassurance and help you find what works best for you.
Pregnancy
Most women with diabetes have healthy babies, but planning ahead and getting support from your healthcare team is crucial to avoid potential complications. Diabetes increases the risk of health issues for both mother and baby during pregnancy and childbirth. By planning ahead and receiving support from your GP and diabetes team, you can reduce these risks. As soon as you start thinking about having a baby, it’s important to book an appointment with your GP or nurse, who can offer advice and refer you to a pre-conception clinic.
Your HbA1c levels need to be checked before stopping contraception because high HbA1c can affect your baby’s development. You’ll also need to monitor your blood sugar levels more frequently and review any medications you’re taking, as some diabetes medications aren’t safe during pregnancy. Diabetes shouldn’t affect your fertility, so if you’ve been trying to conceive without success, it’s a good idea to visit your GP for advice. They may refer you for further tests. Visit our Pregnancy and Diabetes page for more information.
Sex as You Age and Diabetes
There’s a misconception that sex life diminishes with age, but many older adults continue to have an exciting and fulfilling sexual life, even with diabetes.
As we age, our bodies change, introducing new challenges to intimacy. However, with proper management and communication, these can be overcome. According to research by the University of Sheffield, hormonal changes due to menopause in women can result in vaginal dryness and thinner vaginal tissues, which may make penetrative sex uncomfortable. This can also affect sexual desire, and orgasms might become less intense or take longer to reach. Using lubricants, available at pharmacies, can ease these symptoms, while hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can provide further relief. If menopause symptoms like hot flashes or brain fog are affecting your libido, consult a healthcare professional for guidance. More detailed information can be found on our diabetes and sexual problems in women page.
For men, age-related hormonal changes may result in erectile dysfunction or reduced semen during ejaculation. Dry orgasms (non-ejaculatory orgasms) may also become more common with age. Occasional erectile dysfunction is normal, but if it becomes frequent, consult a doctor to discuss medication options. Always check with your healthcare provider before starting any new treatments to ensure they are safe for you. For more details, check out our diabetes and sexual problems in men page.
Diabetes can make managing sexual challenges more complex, but with the right approach, sex can remain a satisfying and healthy part of life as you age.